


And That's Unheard Of

by Syntheticpalindromes



Category: Arctic Monkeys
Genre: Banter, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-09
Updated: 2018-10-09
Packaged: 2019-07-28 16:37:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,783
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16245614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Syntheticpalindromes/pseuds/Syntheticpalindromes
Summary: Jamie was very excited to be able to be one of the first people to try the food at the new Mexican restaurant that was opening, on top of the hotel no less, so he’d been staving off from having a big lunch. Keeping himself chaste for a good taco at The Information Action Ratio.Patting his hungry little Yorkshire tummy as he trundled up the stairs from the hotel’s reception area to the entrance of the taqueria, the receptionist slowly turning the page of a magazine that Jamie caught a glimpse of, The World’s First Ever Monster Truck Front Flip. Which he only could assume was about a monster truck doing a front flip. Which was pretty cool if you asked him.~*~A fic that I done because me and my best mate were howling over the idea that miles works at the taqueria on the moon and "mark" aka alex is his boyfriend and theres just one review for the place from jamie and its 4/5 bc the food was good but it took ages for jamie to get his food bc miles is a shagger





	And That's Unheard Of

Jamie was very excited to be able to be one of the first people to try the food at the new Mexican restaurant that was opening, on top of the hotel no less, so he’d been staving off from having a big lunch. Keeping himself chaste for a good taco at The Information Action Ratio. 

Patting his hungry little Yorkshire tummy as he trundled up the stairs from the hotel’s reception area to the entrance of the taqueria, the receptionist slowly turning the page of a magazine that Jamie caught a glimpse of, _The World’s First Ever Monster Truck Front Flip_. Which he only could assume was about a monster truck doing a front flip. Which was pretty cool if you asked him.

The receptionist seemed to pay him no mind aside from a quick, furtive glance up and then a quick glance towards the clock as he placed the mag down and rose from his seat. Dialing a number on the phone in front of him.

Regular receptionist stuff, Jamie thought. 

The taqueria, when he reached it at the top of the staircase, seemed to be a muted and easy going spectacle. The OPEN sign flashing a dim blue as he passed the entrance and stood in front of the counter. Gazing up at the above head signs which listed everything you could ever want from a Mexican food establishment. Although, now he thought about it, it was more of a fast food place than a restaurant. 

Which was a bit sad. He wanted a nice dinner service but, _ho hum_.

Couldn’t have everything could he.

He had a quick look around, hands stuffed into his pockets as he frowned at the realisation that he was the only person in there.

And, come to think of it, he hadn’t seen particularly anyone else in the hotel either?

Very strange.

His stomach rumbled. 

_Ah. Yes. Food_. 

He stalked up to the counter, it once again dawning on him that there was no one to take his order. His eyes fell to the countertop, a single silver bell sat atop it; a little note attached to it reading, “Please ring for service”. Not something you would expect from a fast food restaurant but Jamie went with it, giving it a little tap. The _ding_ echoing through the taqueria and ushering a lanky man from behind the doors.

The highs of his cheeks a little pink and his face flushed, “Yes?”

Jamie was a little bit confused at that, usually they’d say something like, “Hello! How can I help?” or, “Good afternoon, may I take your order?” 

Not just a single, “Yes?” As if Jamie had interrupted them by asking them to do their job.

“Oh. Eh. Well I’d quite like some dinner actually.” 

The man behind the counter gave him a thin smile, supplying helpfully, “Well, you’ve definitely got the idea right by coming to T-I-A-R.” Drumming his fingers on the counter as if he were impatient already, hand wavering over the POS terminal in front of him, “Right, what’re you having then.” He paused, “Sir.”

The sir did it’s job, seemingly, and Jamie rattled off his order. Watching the man, who was definitely Liverpudlian, jab a finger against the till and input it and when Jamie was done with the payment he simply turned on his, Cuban, heel and began inching towards the back doors again, “I’ll have your order done and out in a moment, thank you. Have a seat.”

“Don’t tell me you’re the only one who works here?” Jamie stammered out, slightly in disbelief.

The man cast a glance over his shoulder, “Of course not.”

Jamie sighed.

“Mark sometimes pops up to help if I forget how to turn the fryer on!”

Jamie wasn’t even sure who that was if he was honest.

Then the man was gone again, through the swinging doors and for a moment as they swung open, Jamie caught a glance of someone perched with their hip cocked against a counter top. 

He could only assume that was the man himself, Mark. 

However, he wasn’t going to start worrying about the strangeness of the establishment or it’s employees, so he plopped himself down in a booth against a window. Pulling out his phone, sad to see that the wifi didn’t reach the taqueria. And of course, he wouldn’t get any signal since he wasn’t too sure that Vodaphone had quite got their service to the Moon yet. 

He snapped a couple of photographs of the Earth glistening in the sky behind them, the idea to post them to Instagram later. He wondered as he gazed at planet Earth from outer space, if anyone else down there was having such a strange time in a hotel as he was right now. Lovely as it was, the more he thought about it the odder it became. The casino was empty. The lobby was empty. The receptionist seemed to forever be running around doing things but...He wasn’t quite sure who for. 

The bed was very comfortable and he’d had a lovely cup of tea waiting for him when he awoke though. 

Even if he wasn’t sure when or how someone, presumably the receptionist, had gotten into his room to make it. 

Nothing to worry about now though, he thought. Setting about counting all the craters he could see as he waited for his food to arrive and considering it was a fast food place, he didn’t think he would be waiting too long. Even if it did seem like there was only one man manning the kitchen and the counter. 

He supposed it was hard to find staff who wanted to come and work, and live, on the Moon itself. 

Must be lonely, he speculated. 

So he happily sat, twiddling his thumbs and watching the Earth spin. 

His tummy rumbling again after thirteen minutes of waiting. He glanced down at it before looking to his phone’s clock, frowning and deciding that maybe he should just go and have a peek behind the swinging doors. Just to make sure that the man was actually making his food. Which Jamie knew he was, because he always thought the best of people. Even if they did make him wait for his tacos.

He pushed himself off and out of the booth, his Chelsea boots squeaking across the laminate of the taqueria as he made his way back over to the counter and the back doors, being made aware as he stepped closer of the sound of something being jilted against the wall at a rhythmic pace. 

Very odd.

He wasn’t quite sure what to expect as he pushed the door open, but it definitely wasn’t the sight of the man that had served him earlier with his hand shoved into the hair at the back of the receptionist’s head and him bent over the counter. And if his eyes were right, it seemed that the man who worked at the taqueria was shagging the receptionist. 

_Ah. That must be Mark!_ Jamie’s brain supplied.

He stood there, aghast at what he was actually seeing. It seemed that they were both quite lost and content in what they were doing, he did have to credit the man for actually starting his taco before beginning to bum the receptionist though, as Jamie could see some sliced lettuce next to where the receptionist was bent over the surface. Jamie frowning sadly at it as his tummy rumbled even more, which was a bit of an odd experience because he’d never had the tummy rumbles in front of two men having it off before. 

They seemed to be almost finished though, judging by the fact the receptionist was groaning and the taqueria worker was doing some very good thrusting. Jamie was actually quite impressed. They both appeared to be having a great time. He was just happy that even on the Moon you could find love. 

Even if it did have to be when he was starving. 

He stood for another moment more, peering from behind the door as both men...Well... _Finished_ , and Jamie very much hoped that they had some Detol to wipe the surfaces down afterwards because while he himself wasn’t too much of a stickler for cleanliness, he wasn’t sure he wanted spunk in or around his food. 

The men had a little bit of a breather, before the taqueria worker moved away and blimey, Jamie almost wanted to go and give the receptionist a little pat on the back, because he certainly had a bit of a monster trouser snake. Jamie’s cheeks going red as they shuffled around, pulling trousers up and to his surprise having a little cuddle in the middle of the kitchen. The taqueria worker’s face tucking into the receptionists neck as the latter began to hum a little tune as the former’s hands fell to the smaller man’s hips and they had a bit of a sway. 

Quite romantic, if you asked Jamie. 

They ended it with a smooch on the mouth, the receptionist saying something along the lines of, “Do your job now. Off to have shower.” To which the taqueria worker grabbed a very generous handful of his bottom and squeezed, making the receptionist make a noise that ladies often make when you’re being a bit naughty with them and you touch them somewhere they quite like. 

They had another kiss and it was only after that that Jamie decided to shut the door, feeling a little bit jealous actually. The receptionist was quite handsome. A lovely nose and pretty little features. And an amazing bum. Which seemed to be able to take quite a bit if what he’d seen was anything to go by. 

He wandered off back to his seat, pondering if the Moon made you gay somehow.

He lowered his gaze to the salt packets he was playing with when the receptionist stalked across the laminate and out the door a moment later. Jamie hoped that he enjoyed his shower at least. 

And when finally, five minutes later, his taco appeared, he didn’t say anything about the fact that the taqueria worked had a bit of a funny stain on the front of his work trousers. That’d be far too rude in Jamie’s opinion. He definitely had a nice glow about him though. Maybe he quite liked the receptionist. 

He thanked him and watched the Earth twist again, counting the stars as he saw them. Enjoying his dinner now he had it immensely. 

It really was a very good taqueria. 

And then, when he was back settled in his hotel room, full and comfy, he opened Tripadvisor:

“4 Stars Out Of 5.”


End file.
